Sunday, 13 September 2015

How many dates does it take to know if he/she is the one?

Sunday, September 13, 2015 By , , , , 2 comments

I will start with the question itself. ‘How many dates does it take to know if he/she is the one?’ (Because falling for a nice body, perfect teeth and old lines are a cliché)

Some will say, just one. Apparently, these people are a big fan of newspaper astrology and apps like Tinder and iPair. Sigh. And traditionally, belong to the love-at-first-sight category, no doubt. (Oh my! That easy!)

Others will say, two, with their own level of understanding and reasoning. And the last will be those pessimists who will wave it off saying, you just can’t decipher it.

Well, no one is wrong (but the apps don’t work), you see. Even those pessimists. After all, we are dealing with something tricky, which, though not as hard as rocket science, but can keep anyone pondering for years to reach an answer.

However, having an engineering background doesn’t allow me to leave this enticing question over fate and zodiac signs for God’s sake. We (read: engineers) are taught (not really) to be logical on every single thing in this world. Whether it is your dog pooping on the mattress or you reading this great (I lie at times) article, everything can be answered logically, they say.

Anyways, on analyzing the question you will find that the number of dates required to magically find your soul mate are directly proportional to certain important points. Those points if paid attention to and checked for, can fetch you your soul mate in just ONE date (No money-back guarantee, kidding). Forget one date, but at the earliest. Also, through those points you can even check whether the things are going on the right track or have 
you taken a wrong flyover.

Following are the points to be noted (mentally):

1.    Trust: Establishing unshakeable trust is the first important point. Why? Mostly because, majority of the people who you presume to be a decent match as your partner is, shockingly, not looking for one-soul-two-bodies type relationship. They want to have a short fling (involving genitals) and part ways. In and out, just like that. And for that, they lie about being in true love with you.

So, it is important to be fully convinced and trust them on what they do and say. Until cent percent sure, you should not move ahead with anything else. After all, you can’t trust a con man to win a battle with you!

You can take precautions like the following example (if you are a girl). And if you are a boy, then hallelujah man!

Your Date: Hey, where are you?
                 I miss you. I am ALONE tonight.
                 Wanna come watch a movie at my place? ;)
You: Unfortunately, this user does not accept messages after dark.
        Please try calling/messaging during daylight hours. Thank you!

Ahem! That escalated too quickly as an example. But, you can improvise, am sure.

2.    Happiness: Second point to check for is happiness. It is important to live your life with your better half with a glee (not all the time, though, muscle pain, you see). So, check for a happiness percentage without a calculator and those apps (you well know). And make sure that it comes almost 100% considering those mild altercations and arguments at times.

Ultimately, happiness is the key to success and definitely a master-key to a successful relationship. So, point number two to check for is happiness. A genuine one. Making sense. Period.

3.    Love: Ah! We are finally onto something that this whole thing is pretty much dependent upon; Love. Make you skip a heartbeat whenever you hear that word and a picture of your partner cinematically (with DDLJ music playing in the background) crosses your mind, doesn’t it?. Stop.

This is tricky because most people are initially infatuated or smitten by the other person and they confuse it with love. And this happens more than often. So, do not be doubtful when evaluating this thing.

‘He can stretch hands in slow motion and bend his head to 15 degrees, just like Shahrukh Khan. I have found my love of life.’

WAIT! What?! Do not analyze love like this!

Be conscious and not childish in questioning yourself whether you love them truly, madly and deeply. And in return, whether they love you too. If the answer is 100% yes, then congrats, you have three points checked. And what’s more necessary than love between two people, right? (Oxygen and money, of course, but that’s purely logical. Be dil-logical here.)

4.    Compatibility: ‘All right, trust, happiness and love, checked. Everything set. So, he/she is the one for me.’

If this is going through your mind right now, then please, please stop thinking.
You may wonder, why?!

And that is a valid question. So, let me put you through it with the help of an example.
Consider a cricket player who has a brilliant regional cricket record, is great looking from the market’s perspective and is highly rated. Can you still jump into conclusion and decide him to play an international match against the best team, considering you are the prime selector?

You will give him a chance, right? Just to test his credibility. You will give him more chances to make your assumption rock solid. And only when you are fully satisfied, he will be made permanent in the team.

Apparently, all this time, you will not hurry and get effected by external sources at all for making a final decision. Tell me if am wrong.

So, why to hurry while making an important life commitment? You have been patient all this long. Have some more of that to test him/her on how they gel-up with you under different situations.

To be specific, how compatible are the two of you in real. For this, spend more time with them. Associate them with your life cycle and share your problems. Do something together apart from you-know-what (Three letter word. Starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘X’).
Something meaningful that will clear the cloud from how they tackle problems with you. Whether they lose their calm or stand with you throughout it. Because this is a very important aspect of life.

And, as a matter of fact, who stands with you deserves you more than anybody else. Deserves to be ‘the one’.

So, these are the points to observe before settling for anybody. And if validation of these take one date (really!) or a couple more, will be totally situational.

Best wishes. (I soon expect a cheque)