Showing posts with label Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tips. Show all posts
Sunday, 28 October 2018
A life-changing theory
“You are the average of 5 people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn
A lot of people would have come across this quote and would be like- ‘Kya baat kahin he bande ne’ and started counting those 5 people! Mene to kari he bhai, honestly.
So, if you have not done it and are seeing this quote for the first time, please do the above thing. It is fun.
**A long pause**
Now, what is your feeling around it? Are you happy after analyzing your 5 person circle? Or are you dissatisfied thinking ki saala saari problems ka yahin jad he ki circle acha nhi he? Or do you have some mixed reaction?
Whatever your reaction is, do you think you can change the equation of your life by changing those 5 people you hang out the most with? Do you think the average will better with that? Do you think you will be able to achieve more in life?
For many of us, those 5 people cannot be changed. They are an integral part of our lives for various reasons. And even for the people who can change, they cannot entirely replace people and guarantee success, isn’t it?
Matlab, esa nhi heki kal aap utho aur sabko boldo ki aaj se rishta khatam bhai. Tu apna dekh, me apna dekhtahun! Iske baad se aapki life set!
Gaaliyon ke saath laat bhi pad sakti he. :P
So, the last question arises, how can we better our lives, if we cannot change the 5 person circle we hang out the most with?
Here comes a simple Statistical concept which might help you.
“Averages tend to change with outliers in the data”
In simple terms, if you have a very big value in your dataset, it will automatically increase the overall average of the group and vice-versa.
In short, if YOU BETTER YOURSELF, EVERYONE WILL BETTER AUTOMATICALLY.
Somebody might think: “Me akele kaiko mehnat karun?”
“Mat kar bhai, joint account khulwa lo sab aur dharamshala me reho”
Ciao.
Monday, 31 October 2016
An Honest Indian Experience At A Coffee House
I was at this Coffee shop once with one of my friends. We were meeting after a long time, so we did not dwell much upon the options available for a meet-up place and settled with the most expensive one (read: Not Starbucks) in the city.
We reached at the venue and occupied the central seat to look through the entire coffee-house (one of the boy things) to keep a check on the pretty girls coming in. (Han bhai ladkiyan checkout karte he hum, arrest karlo is baat pe).
Strangely, a girl was consistently looking at me which made me conscious and proud (no doubt) because this hardly has happened before. Also considering my photo wasn’t published in the Crime section of the newspaper that day, the happening kept me on my toes.
Now, being an Indian, baat ki teh tak jaane ke keeda janm se milta he hume. I had the same. So, I gradually started to stare her back. Initially, for a few secs and subsequently for a longer period. And parallelly at the back of my mind, I searched about any links related to that girl. (She was beautiful by the way)
Now, amidst all this, the girl said something to her friend and she started looking at me too. Wow!
‘Bhai sabun kaam kar gaya us din ka’mene socha. Matlab, jahan ek ladki ne nhi taada pure college life me, yahan saala 2-2 dekhe ja rahi thi. Kya ye koi dustak thi jise me sun nhi pa raha tha (in Anoop Soni’s voice).
Shaq to ho raha tha ki kuch to gadbad he. Matlab, jab aapko pata he ki aapki shakal kharab he, tab esi cheeze chamatkar ya fir galatfaemi ki category me aati he.
And I was unable to figure the right category that time. Nevertheless, I gave more attention, focused deeply and searched my database of girls. After a long time, itna time ki Ashutosh Gowariker ki movie khatam ho jaye, I recalled that she was a friend of a friend. And probably she might have been telling her friend the same story along with the other fact that I blog. Sheh! There went the first autograph ka sapna.
Anyways, Ashutosh Govarikar ki movie jitna time le liya tha humne in sab me and didn’t order anything, so the manager had a similar look as that of the audience who go to watch Govarikar ji’s movies.
So, we quickly checked the menu and decided on Pizza and sandwich. Now, the only thing which was left was a Coffee to order. Man bhi tha aur salary bhi credit huyi thi parso hi. So, we quickly opened the Beverages section in the menu.
Cappuccino
Espresso
Caffe Latte
Caf Mocha
Et cetra et cetra.
‘Abey isme Coffee kaha he bey. Kaha he bey Coffee’ my friend asked. (In Sanjay Mishra’s voice)
Kusoor mere dost ka nhi tha. Bhala ek aam aadmi ko kya pata ki Coffee ki bhi variety hoti he. Esi variety hoti he ki naam pronounce karte karte hi man bhar jaye Coffee peene ka.
‘Bhai ye sab Coffee ki hi varieties he’ I said with pride. Katwa chuke the tagda bill pehle isi Coffee ke upar to yaad tha. Mehenga bill aadmi bhoolta nhi he.
He asked for a suggestion. I had none. But, since you have proved a minute ago that you know about such stuffs, so you wouldn’t want to sound dumb in the next line.
Last time I tried Caffe Latte and didn’t like it much. So, I suggested to go with Espresso. How did I decide? Espresso ke bagal me rate chhapa tha. Use dekha. Aur decide ho gaya. Coffee to aaj Espresso hi jayegi gale ke neeche.
Mangwa li 2 Espresso.
After some time, Pizza came, sandwich came and then came the Coffee.
Looking at the cup we thought, maybe the waiter would bring the milk shortly. So, we waited. We didn’t ask.
Indian dil he, poochne se dar lagta he. Bejjati na ho jaye kahin, isliye shant rehte he. ADJUST KAR LETE HE.
After 10mins when nobody came. Humne kiya Google. Pata chala, Espresso is Black Coffee. Lag gye!
Pehle to hase cause humne lagwa liya tha 150 ka choona, per cup me. Ab lagne wali thi gale ki cause wo peene layak dikh nhi raha tha.
Still, we thought about our bill and tried to sip it slowly. We took the cup in our hand, brought it closer to the lips, tilted it a little and sipped the black Coffee!
Kasam se ‘Ram Baand’ namak dawai yaad aa gyi jo ghar wale dete he bachpan me jab bukhar chadhti thi.
Socha, koi nhi. Mard he, Roadies dekha he, pe lenge.
Agle sip me saari guts bahar aa gyi. Laga, ye time stunt marne ka nhi he. Varna Pizza aur Sandwich ko bhi bahar aa jana he.
To kuch nhi. Cup neeche rakha. Hosh sambhale aur hum bahar aa gye bill pay karke.
Tapri ki chai pi, tab jake dil halka huya.
At last, moral of the story ye nikla ki ‘Rate dekh ke cheeze decide nhi karni chahiye. Aur asli swaad to tapri ki chai me hi hota he’
Cheers!
Sunday, 8 May 2016
An honest Indian Workplace Conversation Between A Guy And His Crush
"This post is a work of
fiction. It has no resemblance with the outside world. In fact, not even a bit
with the writer's life as well. Nah! Not a chance." You
won't think anything like this throughout the post and even after that as well.
And sadly, I can't control your thoughts. Democracy
you see. So, double the enjoyment with your imaginations. Tathastu!
Here is an HONEST (almost) Indian
conversation between a guy and his crush in a random office. Not IT at all. At all. :p
Guy: Hey! Hugs?! No? Ok. *smiles*
Girl: Hi! Fir mil gaya.
*smiles*
Guy: Hungry? Han bol de. Please.
Girl: Yeah. Let's go. Bhookh to lagi he yaar. Subah he,
hopefully zyada chatega nhi. Chal deti hun. *smiles*
Guy: Cool. Let’s leave. Laga hi tha ye naya deo kaam karega. D-Mart
teri jai hoi. *smiles*
Guy: So, lot of work to do?
Yahi question
pooch pooch ke thak gaya hun yaar.
Girl: Han yaar. Bohot zyada.
Pata he..bla bla bla....bla bla bla...!
Guy: Bhai control kar. Yawn mat kariyo. Bakwaas
kar rahi he but sunna to padega. Control. *yawns* *Grins*
Kal raat soya nhi na. Isliye aa rahi he. *hi-hi* Tu bolte reh.
Girl: Nhi yaar. Bus itna hi
tha. Tu suna? Kisse batiya raha tha raat me?! Aaj flirt wagera nhi kar raha mujh se. Pandit
ban gaya kya raato raat?! Roz to bohot Josh me rehta he. Thoda bhao deti hun
tujhe pagal. Dikhati nhi hun bus. Tension na le. Bol bindaas.
Guy: Tu to reply karti nhi he properly.
Movies dekhna padta he. Movie dekh raha tha yaar. Late
soya is karan se. Waise tujhe yaad kiya tha mene. Even dropped a text. Called as
well. But as usual, tune number hi ignore mar diya hoga.
Girl: Oh! When? Let me
check. *she checks* Arey sorry yaar. Just abhi dekha. Waise ghanta phone nhi uthati dekh
bhi leti to. Aur raat me mein kisi ka reply nhi karti bf ka chhod ke, jiske bare me tujhe nhi bataya he.
Guy: Koi nhi. It's ok. Ab to aadat pad gyi he.
Tu suna? Kya huya tere ex bf ka?
Girl: Bataya tha kya tujhe?
Wo na...bla bla bla. Called at night...bla bla bla. Ignored....bla bla bla.
Guy: Oh! To fir scene kya
he tera? Kis
chu ke saath thi tu bhi na. Waise bando ko har dusra banda chu hi lagta he.
Alfa male to khud ko hi mante he sab.
Girl: Kuch nhi. Ab to relationship
wagera nhi kar payungi. Break up has changed me so much. Ab no more
relationships. And dating me karti nhi hun. To zyada sapne mat saja. Waise thoda chance
he tere liye. Chotu sa. So, try to be good to me.
Guy: Haaayee! Dil hi toot
gaya! Lo, chaakoo le lo. Ghusa do. Khel khatam kar do yahi par. But
ese bol ke mat mara karo.
Girl: Hahaha! Hasne ke alawa kar bhi kya sakti hun.
Ladki hun. Attitude maintain karna padta he. Tu bf hota to awww bolke gaal kheech
deti aur side look wali smile. But tere liye hasi hi kaafi he.
Tu kisko dekh raha he?
Guy: Kisi ko bhi nhi! Tujhe. Kasam se. Man to roz karta he
bol dun ki bohot pasand he tu. Gf banja. Rock kar denge. But Rockstar ki tarah,
ye dialogue bhi purana he. Aur sunne ke baad tu muskurahat leke dil me, ignore
karna chalu kar degi mujhe. Kyunki confess karne wale ki feelings to hoti hi
nhi he. Use to bura lagta hi nhi he kuch bhi karo uske saath. Aur in case, tera
bf nikal gaya kahin se to fir to khel khatam. Isliye bolne se darta hun. But like
to tujhe bohot karta hun.
Girl: Chal chupa le. Mat bata
mujhe. Hint
to dete rehta he. Me bhi samajhti hu.
Guy: Arey! Tujh se kya
chupana. Tu to apni he. Mat ungli kar. Bata dunga to fir tera behavior change ho jayega. Meri
kahani ke Index page pe hi the end ho jayega. Mat press kar. Kha pi ke nikal
le.
Girl: Chal anyways, chalte
he ab. Kaam karna he kaafi.
Guy: Han. Bohot ho gaya sach ka samna.
*Both leave*
Arey! Post
khatam ho gaya he. Aapka muskurana khatam ho jaye to baaki post padh sakte he,
ya fir ja sakte he. Waise, jate jate comment karne ka man kare to rukiyega nhi,
kar dijiyega. Aur share karna bhooliyega nhi. Bande ko acha lagega. Dhanywaad.Sunday, 7 February 2016
A lesson on keeping secrets in life
I hear a lot of people
complaining about their secrets being spread in their circle of friends and
elsewhere. The secrets which those people have to call as false rumors for
obvious reasons. The secrets which they didn't share with anyone except their
best friends (read: BFF).
 |
| Even Peter Parker approves it! |
So, basically, they share
it with nobody and the secret's out on its own, because private information has
a life too. It likes to hangout with multiple people. Thus, 'rumors' are
spread. Just like that. Logical reason, right?!
Let me tell you a story to
explain my point better.
There was a king who had a lot of wealth stored in some secretive place. The location of
that place was only known to him. However, after his marriage, he shared the
secret with his wife. Why? Because she is his better half.
Now, the king kept a weekly
check on his hidden wealth. To make sure everything is intact. However, after a
few months when he went to ascertain his riches, surprisingly, it was
gone. He was astounded because nobody in the entire kingdom knew
about its location except for him and the queen. And given that the
queen wouldn't have revealed it to anybody, raised the question on the
criminal's identity.
So, for investigation, he
called upon Birbal. He was an intelligent man who was known for his witty
solutions to complex issues. He asked for a couple of days to sort out the
matter.
After a few days when he
came to the darbar, he requested to talk to the king alone. The king
agreed.
'I need to ask you certain
questions which you might find to be out of the line. So shall I?'
asked Birbal. The king agreed.
'Did you tell about the
hidden treasure to anybody accept the queen?' asked Birbal.
The king thought for a
second and said 'No' with conviction.
'So, do you think your wife
must have done that?' asked Birbal.
The king was taken aback
because he believed his beloved like anything. He wouldn't doubt her loyalty
towards him. So, the king said 'No' to this answer as well without a line of
doubt.
'So, now am going to tell
you something which you might not like.' said Birbal and waited for
the king's reaction.
The king was calm. Nothing to
be cautious about, he said to Birbal.
'Your treasure cannot be
found' said Birbal.
The king was shocked that
even Birbal couldn't find the thief. He asked for a reason in
distress to which Birbal said this:
'Your highness, I have made
every attempt to find the odds, to trace the robber. I have even
eliminated the obvious choices based on your answers to my questions. But,
there seems to be no solution. I am sorry to say this but you should
have kept the information about your treasure with yourself. It was safe then.
You made a mistake to tell it to your wife. Now, I am not saying that she must
have robbed you. Of course, not, but since the information was out, there was
no control of it with you. You could no longer stop it from spreading by any
means. Thus, the lesson here is to note that secret information should be kept
to oneself. It should not be shared with anyone under any
circumstances.'
The king understands his
mistake and takes a life lesson from it.
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| The righteous quote! |
Now, you too must have
noted that extremely important point from the story; the basic mistake that we
make in sharing our personal life with others is sharing it.
If that thing stops, I
don't think there is any other way by which anybody has to worry about 'false
rumors' anymore. Of course, if one has the issue of talking while sleeping,
then medical help is needed. Else, the solution is free. Stop sharing
information. Be it your BFF, BF or GF. Once it is leaked from
your side, you have no control over it. So, keep things to yourself and stay
happy.
But with that in mind, do
not refrain from sharing this post. Thank you.
Wednesday, 30 December 2015
Do what you like because…?
Recently, I visited a mall in Bhopal. It was evening and there was a rock show going on near the entrance. I was with a friend and we both stopped to check out the singer. He was literally good, and thus we spent some time at the place hearing him out.
 |
| Um..Not exactly my point! |
Amidst the contrasting lighting, I figured out that the singer was someone I have known before. On carefully watching his face, keeping my patience and sanity intact, I figured out that he was a school junior.
We used to play football back in the days. And have even exchanged pleasantries one time recently. Honestly, I was awestruck with his voice. Trust me, I don’t praise unless I mean it completely.
In fact, his semester exams were going on that time. So, giving out such a performance in a crucial time when your exams are on the head is a big thing. I can’t really imagine myself doing that.
But, more or less, he was the man of the hour who was doing what he does best; sing.
Amidst all the glitter, glamour and singing, I was constantly in conversation with my friend who was relishing the aura, songs and what not? Everything.
Me: Yaar, banda to gajab ga raha he. Hena?
Friend: Han bhai. Talented he.
Me: Wahi to yaar. Aur mujhe hawa bhi nhi lagi aajtak. Rockstars logo se contact he mere.
Friend: Tere bagal me aaj Ambani khada he. Tujhe ye baad me realize hoga.
Me: Hao! Acha, iske papers chal rahe he. Manna padega. Tab bhi show kar raha he.
Friend: Bhai, paper waper hote rehte he. Wo sab nikal jayega. Sab pass ho jate he. Ye har koi nhi karta he. Yahi life he. Jo pasand he wo karo.
And this is the point that struck me.
Do what you like. Do as you like. Do even if nobody notices it. Just do it. (Nike, will you pay me for the ad?)
Because it makes you happy!
Sunday, 13 September 2015
How many dates does it take to know if he/she is the one?
I
will start with the question itself. ‘How many dates does it take to know if
he/she is the one?’ (Because falling for
a nice body, perfect teeth and old lines are a cliché)
Some
will say, just one. Apparently, these people are a big fan of newspaper
astrology and apps like Tinder and iPair. Sigh.
And traditionally, belong to the love-at-first-sight category, no doubt. (Oh my! That easy!)
Others
will say, two, with their own level of understanding and reasoning. And the
last will be those pessimists who will wave it off saying, you just can’t
decipher it.
Well,
no one is wrong (but the apps don’t work), you see. Even those pessimists. After
all, we are dealing with something tricky, which, though not as hard as rocket
science, but can keep anyone pondering for years to reach an answer.
However,
having an engineering background doesn’t allow me to leave this enticing
question over fate and zodiac signs for God’s sake. We (read: engineers) are
taught (not really) to be logical on every single thing in this
world. Whether it is your dog pooping on the mattress or you reading this great
(I lie at times) article, everything can be answered logically, they
say.
Anyways,
on analyzing the question you will find that the number of dates required to
magically find your soul mate are directly proportional to certain important
points. Those points if paid attention to and checked for, can fetch you your
soul mate in just ONE date (No
money-back guarantee, kidding). Forget one date, but at the earliest. Also,
through those points you can even check whether the things are going on the
right track or have
you taken a wrong flyover.
Following
are the points to be noted (mentally):
1.
Trust: Establishing unshakeable trust is the
first important point. Why? Mostly because, majority of the people who you
presume to be a decent match as your partner is, shockingly, not
looking for one-soul-two-bodies type relationship. They want to have a short
fling (involving genitals) and part ways. In and out, just like that. And for
that, they lie about being in true love with you.
So, it is important to be fully convinced
and trust them on what they do and say. Until cent percent sure, you should not
move ahead with anything else. After all, you can’t trust a con man to win a
battle with you!
You can take precautions like the following example
(if you are a girl). And if you are a boy, then hallelujah man!
Your Date: Hey, where are you?
I miss you. I am ALONE tonight.
Wanna come watch
a movie at my place? ;)
You: Unfortunately,
this user does not accept messages after dark.
Please
try calling/messaging during daylight hours. Thank you!
Ahem! That escalated too quickly as an example.
But, you can improvise, am sure.
2. Happiness: Second
point to check for is happiness. It is important to live your life with
your better half with a glee (not all the time, though, muscle pain,
you see). So, check for a happiness percentage without a calculator and those
apps (you well know). And make sure that it comes almost 100% considering those
mild altercations and arguments at times.
Ultimately,
happiness is the key to success and definitely a master-key to a
successful relationship. So, point number two to check for is happiness. A
genuine one. Making sense. Period.
3. Love: Ah!
We are finally onto something that this whole thing is pretty much
dependent upon; Love. Make you skip a heartbeat whenever you hear
that word and a picture of your partner cinematically (with DDLJ music
playing in the background) crosses your mind, doesn’t it?. Stop.
This is
tricky because most people are initially infatuated or smitten by the other
person and they confuse it with love. And this happens more than often. So, do
not be doubtful when evaluating this thing.
‘He can stretch hands in slow motion and bend his
head to 15 degrees, just like Shahrukh Khan. I have found my love of life.’
WAIT!
What?! Do not analyze love like this!
Be
conscious and not childish in questioning yourself whether you love them truly,
madly and deeply. And in return, whether they love you too. If the answer is
100% yes, then congrats, you have three points checked. And what’s more
necessary than love between two people, right? (Oxygen and money, of course,
but that’s purely logical. Be dil-logical here.)
4. Compatibility: ‘All
right, trust, happiness and love, checked. Everything set. So, he/she is the
one for me.’
If
this is going through your mind right now, then please, please stop
thinking.
You
may wonder, why?!
And
that is a valid question. So, let me put you through it with the help of an
example.
Consider
a cricket player who has a brilliant regional cricket record, is
great looking from the market’s perspective and is highly rated. Can you still
jump into conclusion and decide him to play an international match against the
best team, considering you are the prime selector?
You
will give him a chance, right? Just to test his credibility. You will give him
more chances to make your assumption rock solid. And only when you are fully
satisfied, he will be made permanent in the team.
Apparently,
all this time, you will not hurry and get effected by external sources at all
for making a final decision. Tell me if am wrong.
So,
why to hurry while making an important life commitment? You have been patient
all this long. Have some more of that to test him/her on how they gel-up with
you under different situations.
To
be specific, how compatible are the two of you in real. For this, spend more
time with them. Associate them with your life cycle and share your problems. Do
something together apart from you-know-what (Three letter word. Starts with ‘S’
and ends with ‘X’).
Something
meaningful that will clear the cloud from how they tackle problems with you.
Whether they lose their calm or stand with you throughout it. Because this is a
very important aspect of life.
And, as
a matter of fact, who stands with you deserves you more than anybody else.
Deserves to be ‘the one’.
So,
these are the points to observe before settling for anybody. And if validation
of these take one date (really!) or a couple more, will be totally situational.
Best
wishes. (I soon expect a cheque)
Wednesday, 27 May 2015
How to keep your relationship going after graduation?
The
first year of the college is very special for everybody. It is a new start for
some people and for others it proves to be a platform to carry forward their old
legacy. But whatever is the case, everyone does savor it. Also, a few gets into
a relationship or start to date. Others keep exploring their perfect partner to
share a bond with. While another segment has come bonded from school.
 |
Anyway,
if it doesn’t happen in the first year, then possibly on 2nd, 3rd
or maybe 4th; wait, 4th year,
really?! And in case, it doesn’t happen at all, then welcome to this group of
singles who never mingled of which this blog’s owner is a proud member. Proud,
why? You will figure out soon.
So,
the thing is that you get into love in any year of the college. But now, as
soon as the 4th year comes and you blink, magic happens; the year is
at its end. You are about to be a graduate. Finally going to have a degree, may
be a job sooner or later, will get to see new places and what not? So many
possibilities and so much fun.
The
good, bad, whatever 4 years are about to end with tons of memories. A lot of
which you want to preserve along with the people involved in it. You want your
friends (maybe just a handful) to be with you for the life ahead. And you
definitely want your other half to be with you as well. In fact, you both have
already named your first child in a few of the discussions in this while,
right? But all this looks shaky all of a
sudden because an end to a routine is about to come. Your college life is about
to end. You are going to be at home, improving your skin tone. Congrats!
But
this is not what you want. You would happily accept darker shades and a few
pimples at the cost of your beloved ones. Or at least for that one person for
sure. But life won’t give so easily what you desire for. Every hello has a
goodbye to the other side.
So,
in this situation, it is hard to maintain your long lived relationship. After all,
the roads are about to be diverted when your love is at its peak. Your family
plannings are going to end without a court trial. Your darlo, baby, sweeto , etc are going to part ways. And all
this just gets into your nerve.
Amidst
this situation of dilemma, frustration and sadness, what can you do to keep
your relationship going?
Before
you read any further, I would like to tell you that I am only suggesting a few
points. For a detailed case study, you can send a cheque to fix an appointment.
Thank you.
Anyway,
how can you keep your relationship alive? Here are a few points to consider:
1.
Talk. Yes,
talking can cure a lot of things. Solitude will only multiply the frustration.
So, talk to each other about it. Be frank, lucid, pragmatic and considerate. This
will make a way to a solution.
2.
If after
talking you reach to a no conclusion stage, then either stay in a long distance
relationship as long as you both can. Technology can only not make the two of
you touch each other, rest is possible. Utilize it.
3.
If this seems
to be tough then opt for being friends. However, this is difficult and you know
it. So, think before you accept the offer. Awkward situations will sink you
soon. Choose wisely.
4.
With a heavy
heart, break up. Huff… *long silence* This is the only solution after everything
fails. But, even if you do this, do on a good note. That will make the pain
dissolve with time and you will easily accept the reality.
So, these are my free advices. You may also book
me for a personal session at low prices. Summer sale.
In the end, all good things must come to an end; which
ones? That you are to decide. For me, it is this post. See you soon.
