Showing posts with label Social. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social. Show all posts
Monday, 17 December 2018
Tuesday, 5 December 2017
Life After You Start Working
“Bhai, kal tu college ja raha he?”
“Nhi!”
“Chal me bhi nhi jayunga fir”
Felt nostalgic, a little? I sure did.
And this brings me to the first thing you cannot do when you start working, which are such implusive emotional decisions. If you disagree, then remember the number of times you have taken an unplanned leave on a Monday?!
Due to such and many more small yet significant things, I miss the college days and I am sure a lot of you feel the same. After all, those were the days when you could take emotional decisions freely, bunk the classes without hesitation and had a group of friends called your gang who always stuck around through all your highs and lows.
However, now, after you have started working in a company, the table has turned. Performance ratings and appraisals have wiped off emotions and caged in ‘aaj kuch tufaani karte hai’ moments which were in plenty during the college days.
Now, the most tufaani moment is to get that trouser fit in, after compressing that next-to-pregnant-belly, a little, and to leave the office at 6 pm on Friday.
Also, you spend every single day thinking about making more money and using the same to find happiness, which was free back in the college days.
A lot of other changes have come as well, like back then, when you couldn’t afford a McD meal on your own, sadly now, when you can, you don’t have friends to share it with!
Also, in college, when a cup of chai with friends was enough to make our day. Now, even a team party at a lavish 5-star hotel doesn’t give that sort of satisfaction.
Honestly, no matter how many friends you make in your professional life, the place in your heart that your college buddies have can never be replaced (unless one of them went on to be your gf and then ex-gf) because, ‘Aur bhosdike, kaisa he?!’ is more pleasant to the ears than ‘Hey, how are you?!’ (unless coming from a total stranger)
At the end, am pretty sure you too had one hell of a ride this year. A lot of changes would have come, new promises made, few broken, people were left behind, certain life changing decisions would have been taken.
In fact, a couple of your friends would have even gotten married. But all this while, even if you were not the best version of yourself. Maybe, you couldn’t commit to what you promised at the start of this year. Or perhaps, your office life is totally a lost case, believe this and just remember your college day. Maybe, it won’t fix the current situation you are in, but it would definitely break the stress and lighten the tension, which in most cases is enough to get going.
Thursday, 17 August 2017
Honest Indian Mindset Behind Sarahah
I had to write about it. The craving was so high that I could not procrastinate it. Sorry laziness, better luck next time!
Sarahah! The name needs no introduction because the chances are quite high that you have already downloaded the app and have waited patiently for those ‘genuine’ appreciations and criticism (milti sabko he, but batata koi nhi he). The picture below describes exactly what I feel about it. Sorry if that hurts your feelings! *Azaad desh ke azaad nagrik ki azaad sooch he*
Now, every time, every single time, I open Facebook, what do I see? People put up the screenshot about an anonymous person who has appreciated them and they ask to get in touch with them.
Bhaiya, banda/bandi isi ka to wait kar rahe the ki kab aap unhe bolenge to get in touch. Unke uparto shraap tha iske pehle contact na kar pane ka.
Isi screenshot ko dekh ke hi to Bruce Wayne ne bhi Gordon ko apni asliyat bata di. Aur Gangadharbhi Geeta Vishwas ka isi cheez ko leke wait kar raha tha! Samjhe!
Anyway, I pondered about the mindset that drags people to follow the bandwagon and download the app. I have jotted down the same thing below in an ‘honest’ manner. My interpretation might not be as apt, but certainly, it will tickle your funny bone:
*Random person, not aware about Sarahah, opening their Facebook account*
“Chull ho rahi he, Facebook kholta hun.”
“Ye kya screenshot laga rakha he aur isme appreciation likhi he. Is bande ke liye appreciation! Hehehe!”
*Scrolls down*
“Fir waisa hi screenshot! Isme bhi jhoot”
*Scrolls further down*
“Bawa re bawa, ye chal kya raha he. Har koi wahi cheez ka screenshot laga raha he”
“Man to kar raha he ki istmaal karu. But mere sane dost fir mera mazaak udayenge ki bheed me shareekh ho gaya. Kya karun?”
“Appreciation ki apne ko bohot laalach to he. But kisi ne gaali bhej di to? Post nhi karenge public me. Hehehe. BUT, agar kisi ne koi tareef nhi kari to? Locha ho jayega!”
“Kya karun?! Bandwagon me shamil hona pasand nhi he, but laalach to ho rahi he.”
“Par kya pata koi bethi ho mere is app ko join karne ke intzaar me, tabhi wo apna pyaar kaboolkaregi mere liye. Jo itne saalo me kabhi nhi huya, is app se ho jaye. Desperation to andar bhara he hi apne me!”
“Appreciation nhi aayi to khud se hi post kar denge. Spotlight to chahiye hi!”
“Bohot pressure he yaar. Aaj tak kabhi esa chutiyapa nhi kiya. Aaj apni izzat dao pe rakhu kin hi?!”
*After not so long time*
*Posts the Sarahah’s link to social media*
Aur isi tarah bik jate he log tareefo ke lalach me!
If you like this post, please do share it. And let me know your opinion about the same in the comment section below. Cheers!
Monday, 31 October 2016
An Honest Indian Experience At A Coffee House
I was at this Coffee shop once with one of my friends. We were meeting after a long time, so we did not dwell much upon the options available for a meet-up place and settled with the most expensive one (read: Not Starbucks) in the city.
We reached at the venue and occupied the central seat to look through the entire coffee-house (one of the boy things) to keep a check on the pretty girls coming in. (Han bhai ladkiyan checkout karte he hum, arrest karlo is baat pe).
Strangely, a girl was consistently looking at me which made me conscious and proud (no doubt) because this hardly has happened before. Also considering my photo wasn’t published in the Crime section of the newspaper that day, the happening kept me on my toes.
Now, being an Indian, baat ki teh tak jaane ke keeda janm se milta he hume. I had the same. So, I gradually started to stare her back. Initially, for a few secs and subsequently for a longer period. And parallelly at the back of my mind, I searched about any links related to that girl. (She was beautiful by the way)
Now, amidst all this, the girl said something to her friend and she started looking at me too. Wow!
‘Bhai sabun kaam kar gaya us din ka’mene socha. Matlab, jahan ek ladki ne nhi taada pure college life me, yahan saala 2-2 dekhe ja rahi thi. Kya ye koi dustak thi jise me sun nhi pa raha tha (in Anoop Soni’s voice).
Shaq to ho raha tha ki kuch to gadbad he. Matlab, jab aapko pata he ki aapki shakal kharab he, tab esi cheeze chamatkar ya fir galatfaemi ki category me aati he.
And I was unable to figure the right category that time. Nevertheless, I gave more attention, focused deeply and searched my database of girls. After a long time, itna time ki Ashutosh Gowariker ki movie khatam ho jaye, I recalled that she was a friend of a friend. And probably she might have been telling her friend the same story along with the other fact that I blog. Sheh! There went the first autograph ka sapna.
Anyways, Ashutosh Govarikar ki movie jitna time le liya tha humne in sab me and didn’t order anything, so the manager had a similar look as that of the audience who go to watch Govarikar ji’s movies.
So, we quickly checked the menu and decided on Pizza and sandwich. Now, the only thing which was left was a Coffee to order. Man bhi tha aur salary bhi credit huyi thi parso hi. So, we quickly opened the Beverages section in the menu.
Cappuccino
Espresso
Caffe Latte
Caf Mocha
Et cetra et cetra.
‘Abey isme Coffee kaha he bey. Kaha he bey Coffee’ my friend asked. (In Sanjay Mishra’s voice)
Kusoor mere dost ka nhi tha. Bhala ek aam aadmi ko kya pata ki Coffee ki bhi variety hoti he. Esi variety hoti he ki naam pronounce karte karte hi man bhar jaye Coffee peene ka.
‘Bhai ye sab Coffee ki hi varieties he’ I said with pride. Katwa chuke the tagda bill pehle isi Coffee ke upar to yaad tha. Mehenga bill aadmi bhoolta nhi he.
He asked for a suggestion. I had none. But, since you have proved a minute ago that you know about such stuffs, so you wouldn’t want to sound dumb in the next line.
Last time I tried Caffe Latte and didn’t like it much. So, I suggested to go with Espresso. How did I decide? Espresso ke bagal me rate chhapa tha. Use dekha. Aur decide ho gaya. Coffee to aaj Espresso hi jayegi gale ke neeche.
Mangwa li 2 Espresso.
After some time, Pizza came, sandwich came and then came the Coffee.
Looking at the cup we thought, maybe the waiter would bring the milk shortly. So, we waited. We didn’t ask.
Indian dil he, poochne se dar lagta he. Bejjati na ho jaye kahin, isliye shant rehte he. ADJUST KAR LETE HE.
After 10mins when nobody came. Humne kiya Google. Pata chala, Espresso is Black Coffee. Lag gye!
Pehle to hase cause humne lagwa liya tha 150 ka choona, per cup me. Ab lagne wali thi gale ki cause wo peene layak dikh nhi raha tha.
Still, we thought about our bill and tried to sip it slowly. We took the cup in our hand, brought it closer to the lips, tilted it a little and sipped the black Coffee!
Kasam se ‘Ram Baand’ namak dawai yaad aa gyi jo ghar wale dete he bachpan me jab bukhar chadhti thi.
Socha, koi nhi. Mard he, Roadies dekha he, pe lenge.
Agle sip me saari guts bahar aa gyi. Laga, ye time stunt marne ka nhi he. Varna Pizza aur Sandwich ko bhi bahar aa jana he.
To kuch nhi. Cup neeche rakha. Hosh sambhale aur hum bahar aa gye bill pay karke.
Tapri ki chai pi, tab jake dil halka huya.
At last, moral of the story ye nikla ki ‘Rate dekh ke cheeze decide nhi karni chahiye. Aur asli swaad to tapri ki chai me hi hota he’
Cheers!
Sunday, 8 May 2016
An honest Indian Workplace Conversation Between A Guy And His Crush
"This post is a work of
fiction. It has no resemblance with the outside world. In fact, not even a bit
with the writer's life as well. Nah! Not a chance." You
won't think anything like this throughout the post and even after that as well.
And sadly, I can't control your thoughts. Democracy
you see. So, double the enjoyment with your imaginations. Tathastu!
Here is an HONEST (almost) Indian
conversation between a guy and his crush in a random office. Not IT at all. At all. :p
Guy: Hey! Hugs?! No? Ok. *smiles*
Girl: Hi! Fir mil gaya.
*smiles*
Guy: Hungry? Han bol de. Please.
Girl: Yeah. Let's go. Bhookh to lagi he yaar. Subah he,
hopefully zyada chatega nhi. Chal deti hun. *smiles*
Guy: Cool. Let’s leave. Laga hi tha ye naya deo kaam karega. D-Mart
teri jai hoi. *smiles*
Guy: So, lot of work to do?
Yahi question
pooch pooch ke thak gaya hun yaar.
Girl: Han yaar. Bohot zyada.
Pata he..bla bla bla....bla bla bla...!
Guy: Bhai control kar. Yawn mat kariyo. Bakwaas
kar rahi he but sunna to padega. Control. *yawns* *Grins*
Kal raat soya nhi na. Isliye aa rahi he. *hi-hi* Tu bolte reh.
Girl: Nhi yaar. Bus itna hi
tha. Tu suna? Kisse batiya raha tha raat me?! Aaj flirt wagera nhi kar raha mujh se. Pandit
ban gaya kya raato raat?! Roz to bohot Josh me rehta he. Thoda bhao deti hun
tujhe pagal. Dikhati nhi hun bus. Tension na le. Bol bindaas.
Guy: Tu to reply karti nhi he properly.
Movies dekhna padta he. Movie dekh raha tha yaar. Late
soya is karan se. Waise tujhe yaad kiya tha mene. Even dropped a text. Called as
well. But as usual, tune number hi ignore mar diya hoga.
Girl: Oh! When? Let me
check. *she checks* Arey sorry yaar. Just abhi dekha. Waise ghanta phone nhi uthati dekh
bhi leti to. Aur raat me mein kisi ka reply nhi karti bf ka chhod ke, jiske bare me tujhe nhi bataya he.
Guy: Koi nhi. It's ok. Ab to aadat pad gyi he.
Tu suna? Kya huya tere ex bf ka?
Girl: Bataya tha kya tujhe?
Wo na...bla bla bla. Called at night...bla bla bla. Ignored....bla bla bla.
Guy: Oh! To fir scene kya
he tera? Kis
chu ke saath thi tu bhi na. Waise bando ko har dusra banda chu hi lagta he.
Alfa male to khud ko hi mante he sab.
Girl: Kuch nhi. Ab to relationship
wagera nhi kar payungi. Break up has changed me so much. Ab no more
relationships. And dating me karti nhi hun. To zyada sapne mat saja. Waise thoda chance
he tere liye. Chotu sa. So, try to be good to me.
Guy: Haaayee! Dil hi toot
gaya! Lo, chaakoo le lo. Ghusa do. Khel khatam kar do yahi par. But
ese bol ke mat mara karo.
Girl: Hahaha! Hasne ke alawa kar bhi kya sakti hun.
Ladki hun. Attitude maintain karna padta he. Tu bf hota to awww bolke gaal kheech
deti aur side look wali smile. But tere liye hasi hi kaafi he.
Tu kisko dekh raha he?
Guy: Kisi ko bhi nhi! Tujhe. Kasam se. Man to roz karta he
bol dun ki bohot pasand he tu. Gf banja. Rock kar denge. But Rockstar ki tarah,
ye dialogue bhi purana he. Aur sunne ke baad tu muskurahat leke dil me, ignore
karna chalu kar degi mujhe. Kyunki confess karne wale ki feelings to hoti hi
nhi he. Use to bura lagta hi nhi he kuch bhi karo uske saath. Aur in case, tera
bf nikal gaya kahin se to fir to khel khatam. Isliye bolne se darta hun. But like
to tujhe bohot karta hun.
Girl: Chal chupa le. Mat bata
mujhe. Hint
to dete rehta he. Me bhi samajhti hu.
Guy: Arey! Tujh se kya
chupana. Tu to apni he. Mat ungli kar. Bata dunga to fir tera behavior change ho jayega. Meri
kahani ke Index page pe hi the end ho jayega. Mat press kar. Kha pi ke nikal
le.
Girl: Chal anyways, chalte
he ab. Kaam karna he kaafi.
Guy: Han. Bohot ho gaya sach ka samna.
*Both leave*
Arey! Post
khatam ho gaya he. Aapka muskurana khatam ho jaye to baaki post padh sakte he,
ya fir ja sakte he. Waise, jate jate comment karne ka man kare to rukiyega nhi,
kar dijiyega. Aur share karna bhooliyega nhi. Bande ko acha lagega. Dhanywaad.Wednesday, 30 December 2015
Do what you like because…?
Recently, I visited a mall in Bhopal. It was evening and there was a rock show going on near the entrance. I was with a friend and we both stopped to check out the singer. He was literally good, and thus we spent some time at the place hearing him out.
 |
| Um..Not exactly my point! |
Amidst the contrasting lighting, I figured out that the singer was someone I have known before. On carefully watching his face, keeping my patience and sanity intact, I figured out that he was a school junior.
We used to play football back in the days. And have even exchanged pleasantries one time recently. Honestly, I was awestruck with his voice. Trust me, I don’t praise unless I mean it completely.
In fact, his semester exams were going on that time. So, giving out such a performance in a crucial time when your exams are on the head is a big thing. I can’t really imagine myself doing that.
But, more or less, he was the man of the hour who was doing what he does best; sing.
Amidst all the glitter, glamour and singing, I was constantly in conversation with my friend who was relishing the aura, songs and what not? Everything.
Me: Yaar, banda to gajab ga raha he. Hena?
Friend: Han bhai. Talented he.
Me: Wahi to yaar. Aur mujhe hawa bhi nhi lagi aajtak. Rockstars logo se contact he mere.
Friend: Tere bagal me aaj Ambani khada he. Tujhe ye baad me realize hoga.
Me: Hao! Acha, iske papers chal rahe he. Manna padega. Tab bhi show kar raha he.
Friend: Bhai, paper waper hote rehte he. Wo sab nikal jayega. Sab pass ho jate he. Ye har koi nhi karta he. Yahi life he. Jo pasand he wo karo.
And this is the point that struck me.
Do what you like. Do as you like. Do even if nobody notices it. Just do it. (Nike, will you pay me for the ad?)
Because it makes you happy!
Friday, 13 November 2015
An Honest Indian Neighbour: Random Conversation
All right! It has
been over a month since I last posted anything here. Never mind. Nobody visits it anyway! But, hey, guess what? Yeah,
yeah! You have guessed it right! This ‘guess what’ thingy has gotten old!
 |
| Honest Reaction! |
Anyways, I
desperately wanted to write a post on this title long ago. But considering my
gifts of laziness and procrastination, I could not try my hands on it. But the
time has FINALLY come when I will be doing it. Hihahahaha! *evil grin*
So, here is an ‘honest’
conversation between a random guy (RG) and his neighbour
(N):
RG:
It is a great weather . Let's go outside.
N: Arey beta! Kaise ho?
Zinda
bhi ho, jaanke acha laga. Aaj tumhari lunga. Hihahaha!
RG: Namaste
uncle! Me acha tha jab tak aapne awaaz nhi di
thi.
Acha hun uncle. Aap bataiye? Aaj mausam acha he na?
N: Acha try kara
topic control karne ka. But rishte me hum tumhare neighbour lagte he.
Me acha hun. Chalo ab maze liye jayen tumahre. Aur
kya kar rahe ho aajkal?
RG:
Bohot
sahi! Yahi question bacha tha poochne ko! Engineering
kar raha hun uncle. Khatam hone wali he.
N: Oh! Mujhe
laga kuch meaningful kar rahe hoge.hihihi.
Oh!
Acha he, acha he! Placement huya? Lagta to nhi he.
RG:
Dukhti
rag pakad li he. Ungli do to haath pakadne wale log he ye! Ji
uncle. Bus chal raha he. Hehe!
N: Sach sach bol
do. Hume bhi maze lene do.
Acha
he beta, try karte raho. Aur future me kya socha he karne ka? Sirf naukri?
Higher studies nhi karoge? Ye daala
jaal. Ab fasega murga!
RG:
Kis
muhrat me bahar aane ka socha tha aaj! Ye to kapde utar rahe he.
Abhi filhal sirf job ka socha he uncle. Higher studies ka baad me dekhunga. Hihi! Nikal le beta jaldi. Koi to awaaz de do
andar se. Koi to bula lo.
N: Sahi he, sahi he. Tumse kuch na
ho payega. Samajh gye he.
Waise
job wagera me pareshani aaye to batana. Mere ek friend he. Pass ke gaun me
factory daali he. Production ka kaam rahega. 10000 mil jayenge. Shuruaat ke
liye theek he. Uske upar
tumhari aukaad nhi he. Hehe.
RG:
Yahi
mauka he nikalne ka.
Ji
uncle! Zaroor. Thank you. Acha me chalta hun. Coaching jana he. Bhag lo.
N:
Coaching!
Ghar me ghuse rehne ki coaching. Hehe. Ok beta.
Ese milte rehna. Hume dete
rehna.
Monday, 28 September 2015
Disadvantages of being rich or beautiful/handsome or both!
We all know what beauty brings with it;
access to restricted places, endless favors, no ticket for breaking the traffic
rules mostly and what not? And the same goes with being rich too.
Isn’t it? I am none, though.
 |
| That's not me! Sigh |
If I start to mention the advantages,
which I won’t because am lazy, then that will take a couple of more posts to
sum all of it!
But, to shorten the longer version with
a bad metaphor, it can be said that beauty and money are like the ultimate
weapon to escape or to take advantage of any situations. Well, Almost. Work
both ways.
I will leave the advantage part because
that is common for all of us to notice and experience in life. But, what if I
tell you the disadvantages of being beautiful or rich or both? Trust
me, ain’t drunk.
Here are a few disadvantages of it. Add
some of your own in the comment section, for when I skip something. Age
has to be blamed for my mistake.
1. They
are not considered as talented
This is the most common thing
beautiful/handsome and/or rich people get to listen on their back when they do
something big. Be it, coming first in the papers or building something great.
Or whatever. You have a better imagination. Use it.
Anything they do will be reasoned with
their hard work and commitment for it, DON’T think like this. Because it has
mostly been their money or looks that has done the trick, people say.
‘Ameer he bhaiya, asaani se jugaad betha li
hogi’
And adding to the grief, this notion
has never shifted a meter from its ground. It is affixed like the
shitty daily soaps of Indian TV channels. Gustakhi maaf ho Ekta Kapoor ji.
2. They
befriend people with hidden motives
This
is also very common. When you are beautiful/handsome, you get enough attention
all ways round that it burns people like me to the ground. Easily. Same
goes for wealthy individuals too.
Consequently, you get a mixed batch of
people associated in your life who would lick your feet and brag about you
throughout the day and continuously for weeks and weeks.
Hum mar gye he kya bhaiya? Tanik idhar bhi chaaploosi karlo.
And all this for something. May be, monetary
support or other kind of support you well know.
However, there will be a handful of
people (excluding your family) who will love you for who you
are and will be a part of your life. But, in the herd, it remains a tough task
to differentiate the good sheep or the bad sheep.
You
will always be in doubt whether people like you for who you are as a person or
for your looks or money. Period.
That is all I could think of. Would
love to have your opinion, suggestion and points about this post. Thank you for
reading.
P.S.: I love to watch Shaun The Sheep.
Do you?!
