“Bhai, kal tu college ja raha he?”

“Nhi!”

“Chal me bhi nhi jayunga fir”

Felt nostalgic, a little? I sure did.

And this brings me to the first thing you cannot do when you start working, which are such implusive emotional decisions. If you disagree, then remember the number of times you have taken an unplanned leave on a Monday?!

Due to such and many more small yet significant things, I miss the college days and I am sure a lot of you feel the same. After all, those were the days when you could take emotional decisions freely, bunk the classes without hesitation and had a group of friends called your gang who always stuck around through all your highs and lows.

However, now, after you have started working in a company, the table has turned. Performance ratings and appraisals have wiped off emotions and caged in ‘aaj kuch tufaani karte hai’ moments which were in plenty during the college days.

Now, the most tufaani moment is to get that trouser fit in, after compressing that next-to-pregnant-belly, a little, and to leave the office at 6 pm on Friday.

Also, you spend every single day thinking about making more money and using the same to find happiness, which was free back in the college days.

A lot of other changes have come as well, like back then, when you couldn’t afford a McD meal on your own, sadly now, when you can, you don’t have friends to share it with!

Also, in college, when a cup of chai with friends was enough to make our day. Now, even a team party at a lavish 5-star hotel doesn’t give that sort of satisfaction.

Honestly, no matter how many friends you make in your professional life, the place in your heart that your college buddies have can never be replaced (unless one of them went on to be your gf and then ex-gf) because, ‘Aur bhosdike, kaisa he?!’ is more pleasant to the ears than ‘Hey, how are you?!’ (unless coming from a total stranger)

At the end, am pretty sure you too had one hell of a ride this year. A lot of changes would have come, new promises made, few broken, people were left behind, certain life changing decisions would have been taken. 

In fact, a couple of your friends would have even gotten married. But all this while, even if you were not the best version of yourself. Maybe, you couldn’t commit to what you promised at the start of this year. Or perhaps, your office life is totally a lost case, believe this and just remember your college day. Maybe, it won’t fix the current situation you are in, but it would definitely break the stress and lighten the tension, which in most cases is enough to get going.

People say it is tough to connect with people at your workplace to the level of friendship as you had in your college. An intense friendship that would stay for years to come and wouldn't die even when you switch jobs. It is hard they say and is true to a great degree.

Reason being, once you start to earn, priorities kick in. You have loans to clear, send home some share of your income, make your neighbors jealous and then there are your personal expenditures and plans to deal with, too. So all this needs proper plan and money. And we all know about our crave for getting richer with every passing day. And for the same, we need to consistently work hard.

All this is possible when you focus on the right thing which definitely doesn't leave enough time for making deeper bonds with your colleagues. So, I hope you get the idea here why people say what they say!

But what if, you connect with a few of them in that span of time. Irrespective of everything that restricts you from being friends, a bond does build up. And most importantly, you start to feel it. And this feeling increases manifolds when you get to hear that few of your friends would be drifting apart. That they will be joining another company. In short, they won’t be there with you.

At that moment you realize how much you are going to miss them. And how big of a void their leaving will create in your life. Because absence of somebody tells you a lot about them and their importance in your life. And vice-versa.

So, how to deal with such a situation?

The best way to come out of this bad sulking feeling of being left out is to avoid getting too emotional as much as possible. A fine thought has to be established at the back of the mind that people (read: friends) here, at your workplace, have different agendas.

Eventually, you all will be working at different cities with less hopes of a chai-biscuit hangout or anything of that sort. So, try not to take things to heart. It is all right if your favorite people won’t be there to create more memories in and out of the office. Also, this world is small enough for you to catch a bus and pay them a visit. Or, ask them to do the same. Thus, relax. Be happy.

‘Bhai’ has different forms in our everyday life. For few of us, he might be a real brother, for others, he might be a friend, a friend-of-friend or whatever. But, the thing to pay attention on is the way he showers his warmth on you. The way he guides and helps you at difficult times.

He is somebody to whom you call late at night to pick you up from a place where the alcohol has taken complete control over your body. After receiving the phone and listening to your trumped-up story, he might abuse you and ask to fudge yourself (you better know what he says, don’t you?), but the fact is that he shows up after your consistent whimpers and a promise of bearing his beer money.

He is somebody to whom you call for help when other guys are about to beat your ass out. Doesn’t matter whether he is slim enough to give complex to top actresses or Arnold Schwarzenegger alike; you remember him, as you know he will save you, somehow. He is your superman, or at least the person who would be there on the adjacent bed in the hospital.

He is the person who would repeatedly remind you of NOT running behind ‘LADKI, BUS and TRAIN’, but despite of all his sayings, you ditch him NUMEROUS times for COUNTLESS number of girls. And when you return as the prodigal friend, he is there to pat your back and console you saying, ‘Koi nhi bhai, aur bandiyan milengi’. However, he doesn’t forget to kick your shameless ass for ditching him back then.

These were just the trailers, picture bohot badi hai that you are also aware of now, I guess. You know, he is your best man, your side-kick (according to you), your washroom companion, your ‘Jim Carrey’ from ‘Dumb & Dumber’ and what not? He is there for you 24*7; not literally, though. Still, he shows up at the time of need or to mock at you (when you want it the least).

In short, he is present with you all the time and that is the reason he is valued less. However, when he will leave you after a certain stage in life, his memories are the ones that would make you cry the most. So, go on and tell your ‘bhai’ how much he means to you over a chai-sutta hang-out. He might pump whether you are drunk or something, but the fact is that, deep down inside, he will savour it. Perhaps, he might pass it off saying; ‘Rulayega kya?’ but he will never forget it. He will relish it for years but won’t let you know (that’s the way guys are).

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This question is encountered by almost every individual who has ever been in love with somebody and suffered a bad ending afterwards. Indeed, relationship brings along a lot of hope and happiness with it. Truly, while being in a relationship, life seems to be like a jug of honey and you find yourself as a bear, who is bearing his/her beloved, bravely. No offense. 

Furthermore, it all goes absolutely fine until the obvious problems of being in a relationship kicks in. If things get messy, and eventually turn out to be unsolved between the couples, it results into a breakup.  In other cases, either  the boy or the girl loses the “interest” and leaves their “only one” giving some reasons which the other person greets as “bullshit”. In a matter of few minutes; ‘baby’ turns into a ‘bitch’ and the so-called ‘darling’, turns into a ‘dog’.

So, whatever be the reason behind the breakup, is it possible to be friends with your EX? Clearly, the answer will vary from person to person. Some “highly open minded” people or  people in a relationship currently, will answer that it is really very feasible and possible to be friends with whom you were/are in love. To the contrary, the other category of people will have a totally different answer. So, this goes with the perception of an individual.

However, no matter how many times people state that it is possible to be friends with your EX and bla bla bla.. But genuinely introspect and you will have an answer which will be precisely or nearly same to what am going to tell you. The answer will be, no matter whether you can be friends or not, but it definitely hurts whenever you see them with somebody else who is rumored to be their current partner. Isn’t it? Don’t lie.

So, trust on 1 thing that, if breaking up is tough, then maintaining a friendship after that is even tougher.

NOTE: Do NOT go by the quote, ‘If the going gets tough, the tough get going’. As, if you try doing so, then there is a dreary situation waiting for you on the other side. Thus, part ways and ultimately be happy rather than chasing around and living on false hope.


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