Monday, 31 October 2016

An Honest Indian Experience At A Coffee House

Monday, October 31, 2016 By , , , , 12 comments

I was at this Coffee shop once with one of my friends. We were meeting after a long time, so we did not dwell much upon the options available for a meet-up place and settled with the most expensive one (read: Not Starbucks) in the city.

We reached at the venue and occupied the central seat to look through the entire coffee-house (one of the boy things) to keep a check on the pretty girls coming in. (Han bhai ladkiyan checkout karte he hum, arrest karlo is baat pe).

Strangely, a girl was consistently looking at me which made me conscious and proud (no doubt) because this hardly has happened before. Also considering my photo wasn’t published in the Crime section of the newspaper that day, the happening kept me on my toes. 

Now, being an Indian, baat ki teh tak jaane ke keeda janm se milta he hume. I had the same. So, I gradually started to stare her back. Initially, for a few secs and subsequently for a longer period. And parallelly at the back of my mind, I searched about any links related to that girl. (She was beautiful by the way)

Now, amidst all this, the girl said something to her friend and she started looking at me too. Wow!

‘Bhai sabun kaam kar gaya us din ka’mene socha.  Matlab, jahan ek ladki ne nhi taada pure college life me, yahan saala 2-2 dekhe ja rahi thi. Kya ye koi dustak thi jise me sun nhi pa raha tha (in Anoop Soni’s voice).

Shaq to ho raha tha ki kuch to gadbad he. Matlab, jab aapko pata he ki aapki shakal kharab he, tab esi cheeze chamatkar ya fir galatfaemi ki category me aati he.

And I was unable to figure the right category that time. Nevertheless, I gave more attention, focused deeply and searched my database of girls. After a long time, itna time ki Ashutosh Gowariker ki movie khatam ho jaye, I recalled that she was a friend of a friend. And probably she might have been telling her friend the same story along with the other fact that I blog. Sheh! There went the first autograph ka sapna.

Anyways, Ashutosh Govarikar ki movie jitna time le liya tha humne in sab me and didn’t order anything, so the manager had a similar look as that of the audience who go to watch Govarikar ji’s movies.

So, we quickly checked the menu and decided on Pizza and sandwich. Now, the only thing which was left was a Coffee to order. Man bhi tha aur salary bhi credit huyi thi parso hi. So, we quickly opened the Beverages section in the menu.

Caffe Latte
Caf Mocha
Et cetra et cetra.

‘Abey isme Coffee kaha he bey. Kaha he bey Coffee’ my friend asked. (In Sanjay Mishra’s voice)

Kusoor mere dost ka nhi tha. Bhala ek aam aadmi ko kya pata ki Coffee ki bhi variety hoti he. Esi variety hoti he ki naam pronounce karte karte hi man bhar jaye Coffee peene ka.

‘Bhai ye sab Coffee ki hi varieties he’ I said with pride. Katwa chuke the tagda bill pehle isi Coffee ke upar to yaad tha. Mehenga bill aadmi bhoolta nhi he.

He asked for a suggestion. I had none. But, since you have proved a minute ago that you know about such stuffs, so you wouldn’t want to sound dumb in the next line.

Last time I tried Caffe Latte and didn’t like it much. So, I suggested to go with Espresso. How did I decide? Espresso ke bagal me rate chhapa tha. Use dekha. Aur decide ho gaya. Coffee to aaj Espresso hi jayegi gale ke neeche.

Mangwa li 2 Espresso.

After some time, Pizza came, sandwich came and then came the Coffee.

Looking at the cup we thought, maybe the waiter would bring the milk shortly. So, we waited. We didn’t  ask. 

Indian dil he, poochne se dar lagta he. Bejjati na ho jaye kahin, isliye shant rehte he. ADJUST KAR LETE HE.

After 10mins when nobody came. Humne kiya Google. Pata chala, Espresso is Black Coffee. Lag gye!

Pehle to hase cause humne lagwa liya tha 150 ka choona, per cup me. Ab lagne wali thi gale ki cause wo peene layak dikh nhi raha tha.

Still, we thought about our bill and tried to sip it slowly. We took the cup in our hand, brought it closer to the lips, tilted it a little and sipped the black Coffee!

Kasam se ‘Ram Baand’ namak dawai yaad aa gyi jo ghar wale dete he bachpan me jab bukhar chadhti thi.

Socha, koi nhi. Mard he, Roadies dekha he, pe lenge.

Agle sip me saari guts bahar aa gyi. Laga, ye time stunt marne ka nhi he. Varna Pizza aur Sandwich ko bhi bahar aa jana he.

To kuch nhi. Cup neeche rakha. Hosh sambhale aur hum bahar aa gye bill pay karke.
Tapri ki chai pi, tab jake dil halka huya.

At last, moral of the story ye nikla ki ‘Rate dekh ke cheeze decide nhi karni chahiye. Aur asli swaad to tapri ki chai me hi hota he’



  1. Haha!Rofl!

    PS:Waiting for your honest review on mariott. :p

  2. Replies
    1. Welcome! Happy to see you post a comment

      Keep visiting.

  3. Moral of the story ye bhi tha k rate dekh k ladki tak yaad nahi rehti kuki uske waad apki kadki aa chuki hoti hai :D :P

    Very well written ;) Pet dukh gaya has has k :P

    or similar exp. tha apka inhorbit k starbucks me coffee pine k waad :p

    1. Hahahaha! Sahi kaha. :P
      Starbucks ka to mat hi poocho. Keh ke le li wala scene tha waha ka! :D

  4. I loved ur blog. Im just 14 yrs old and i happen to have my blog too plsss check out my blog at and give me some tips and oadvice on how i wrote about how i should write

    1. Thank you for the appreciation :)
      Kept writing and that will help you improve automatically!

  5. Very well written piece. I've been reading your other stories as well. You depict the nuances of Indian society very accurately.
    Keep up the good work.

    1. Thank you so much for the appreciation. I just write from my heart! :)

  6. Very nice.
    Can't stop myself for comment.
    Keep writing for all of us.:p