Sunday, 8 May 2016

An honest Indian Workplace Conversation Between A Guy And His Crush

Sunday, May 08, 2016 By , , , , 8 comments


"This post is a work of fiction. It has no resemblance with the outside world. In fact, not even a bit with the writer's life as well. Nah! Not a chance." You won't think anything like this throughout the post and even after that as well. And sadly, I can't control your thoughts. Democracy you see. So, double the enjoyment with your imaginations. Tathastu!
 


Here is an HONEST (almost) Indian conversation between a guy and his crush in a random office. Not IT at all. At all. :p

 *Here she comes. The guy almost chasing her with his eyes through the glass wall until she steps inside.*


Guy: Hey! Hugs?! No? Ok. *smiles*

Girl: Hi! Fir mil gaya. *smiles*

Guy: Hungry? Han bol de. Please.

Girl: Yeah. Let's go. Bhookh to lagi he yaar. Subah he, hopefully zyada chatega nhi. Chal deti hun. *smiles*

Guy: Cool. Let’s leave. Laga hi tha ye naya deo kaam karega. D-Mart teri jai hoi. *smiles*

 *While having the snacks. Sitting somewhere*
 

Guy: So, lot of work to do? Yahi question pooch pooch ke thak gaya hun yaar.

Girl: Han yaar. Bohot zyada. Pata he..bla bla bla....bla bla bla...!

Guy: Bhai control kar. Yawn mat kariyo. Bakwaas kar rahi he but sunna to padega. Control. *yawns* *Grins* Kal raat soya nhi na. Isliye aa rahi he. *hi-hi* Tu bolte reh.

Girl: Nhi yaar. Bus itna hi tha. Tu suna? Kisse batiya raha tha raat me?! Aaj flirt wagera nhi kar raha mujh se. Pandit ban gaya kya raato raat?! Roz to bohot Josh me rehta he. Thoda bhao deti hun tujhe pagal. Dikhati nhi hun bus. Tension na le. Bol bindaas.

Guy: Tu to reply karti nhi he properly. Movies dekhna padta he. Movie dekh raha tha yaar. Late soya is karan se. Waise tujhe yaad kiya tha mene. Even dropped a text. Called as well. But as usual, tune number hi ignore mar diya hoga.

Girl: Oh! When? Let me check. *she checks* Arey sorry yaar. Just abhi dekha. Waise ghanta phone nhi uthati dekh bhi leti to. Aur raat me mein kisi ka reply nhi karti bf ka chhod ke,  jiske bare me tujhe nhi bataya he.

Guy: Koi nhi. It's ok. Ab to aadat pad gyi he. Tu suna? Kya huya tere ex bf ka?

Girl: Bataya tha kya tujhe? Wo na...bla bla bla. Called at night...bla bla bla. Ignored....bla bla bla.

Guy: Oh! To fir scene kya he tera? Kis chu ke saath thi tu bhi na. Waise bando ko har dusra banda chu hi lagta he. Alfa male to khud ko hi mante he sab.

Girl: Kuch nhi. Ab to relationship wagera nhi kar payungi. Break up has changed me so much. Ab no more relationships. And dating me karti nhi hun. To zyada sapne mat saja. Waise thoda chance he tere liye. Chotu sa. So, try to be good to me.

Guy: Haaayee! Dil hi toot gaya! Lo, chaakoo le lo. Ghusa do. Khel khatam kar do yahi par. But ese bol ke mat mara karo.

Girl: Hahaha! Hasne ke alawa kar bhi kya sakti hun. Ladki hun. Attitude maintain karna padta he. Tu bf hota to awww bolke gaal kheech deti aur side look wali smile. But tere liye hasi hi kaafi he. Tu kisko dekh raha he?

Guy: Kisi ko bhi nhi! Tujhe. Kasam se. Man to roz karta he bol dun ki bohot pasand he tu. Gf banja. Rock kar denge. But Rockstar ki tarah, ye dialogue bhi purana he. Aur sunne ke baad tu muskurahat leke dil me, ignore karna chalu kar degi mujhe. Kyunki confess karne wale ki feelings to hoti hi nhi he. Use to bura lagta hi nhi he kuch bhi karo uske saath. Aur in case, tera bf nikal gaya kahin se to fir to khel khatam. Isliye bolne se darta hun. But like to tujhe bohot karta hun.

Girl: Chal chupa le. Mat bata mujhe. Hint to dete rehta he. Me bhi samajhti  hu.

Guy: Arey! Tujh se kya chupana. Tu to apni he. Mat ungli kar. Bata dunga to fir tera behavior change ho jayega. Meri kahani ke Index page pe hi the end ho jayega. Mat press kar. Kha pi ke nikal le.

Girl: Chal anyways, chalte he ab. Kaam karna he kaafi.

Guy: Han. Bohot ho gaya sach ka samna.

*Both leave*
Arey! Post khatam ho gaya he. Aapka muskurana khatam ho jaye to baaki post padh sakte he, ya fir ja sakte he. Waise, jate jate comment karne ka man kare to rukiyega nhi, kar dijiyega. Aur share karna bhooliyega nhi. Bande ko acha lagega. Dhanywaad.

8 comments:

  1. Unknown9 May 2016 at 00:58

    Again a good one bro with good humour as well :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Varun Singh27 May 2016 at 04:24

      Thank you bhai :)

      Happy to know you liked it.

      Delete
  2. Unknown9 May 2016 at 00:59

    Again a good one bro with good humour as well :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10 May 2016 at 15:17

    PRAMOD GURJAR....

    awesome1 varun bro :) keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous30 May 2016 at 18:39

    Bestest post by Mr. Varun
    (Ok that's not a word, but you get it)

    Don't worry... Ladki mein hi khot hai tujh jaise heere ko na pehchaan paayi :D:D:D k*tt*y*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Varun Singh7 September 2016 at 14:31

      Thank you. Sachche dil se kuch likho to pasand aa hi jata he. :D

      Delete