How NOT to start conversations with girls? ~ Simply Said

Monday, 1 December 2014

How NOT to start conversations with girls?

Monday, December 01, 2014 By Varun Singh Humor, Social, Tips 2 comments

Welcome! So, as you are here, I can assume that you want to mingle with a girl and you are single by choice. Her choice! (Ouch!)

Happens!

Anyways, today you will find some of the BEST ways NOT to start a conversation with any girl whatsoever. And, I’m very sure you don’t like to engage in a conversation with every girl (because of various reasons that are personal to you and are unknown to me!), but that one “special angel”, who sadly, is either out of scope (according to you) or already taken. But, fear not my friend; I’m here to rescue you from this depressing situation.

I certainly have no degree for match-making nor have any bad experiences on this line. Reason being, I didn’t go that silly or lame in my approach, till date. However, this must be kept in mind; the result has ALWAYS been the same, i.e. REJECTED. (That feels!) BUT, BUT, BUT, I will help you, though for free!

So, without testing your patience, here are some of the ways in which you should NEVER start a conversation with a girl as that would lead you back to this post (you got the answer, I suppose):

1. NEVER ask her ASL:

Alright! You have been in solitude till date, I get that. Also, all your past experiences of those nerve-racking nights on Omegle of wanting to talk to someone, craves to come out and hug you tight, BUT, trust me, asking her ASL (AGE, SEX, LOCATION) would never work.

This!

Com’on, who questions a girl of her age, nearly NO one, right? Then, how prudent does it seem to throw this as your 1^st question to her? This will strike back so tight that either she might not understand the short form (hardly happens), or she might instantly be disinterested in you. I hope you get that?! Good. Take notes then.

2. NEVER say this:

This is too lame!

Woho! Ok, big brother. Your very line showed your desperation reaching Pluto. Calm down. Take it easy. Don’t let that desperation of wanting to be friends with a girl (the ONLY girl) come out and present itself like chocolate pie. She wouldn’t like it because it isn’t chocolate pie, as it seems to you.

You need to understand that in life you have to earn girl friends (that space is the friend zone) which DON’T come at all if you chant this mantra “I want to fraaanship with you”, as your introductory phrase! This doesn’t work on guys either; so I hope you get my point. Change the first line. May be, a mere ‘Hi’ would work well.

3. NEVER compliment her:

Do not compliment like this!

Now, the sub-title might sound absurd but that’s right, absolutely right if you are talking to a girl for the very first time. Never compliment her straight way (this way in particular). You are not Brad Pitt as she would get impressed. If you were, you wouldn’t have needed that line. I hope you get the drift. So, take notes and never pass on such kind of compliments all the way through. Good luck.

4. NEVER discuss such things too:

Now, you might have an Uday Chopra of Dhoom series inside, but that’s got to stay inside. Just like Intel (bad joke).

This is creepy!

What is happening here is that you got a crush on that girl (LIKE ALWAYS, MAYBE) and your speed of pondering on stuffs like this is faster than the speed of light. Because of which, by the time you blink your eyes, you are already a father of her children (officially). So, out of bliss you ask questions related to caste, boyfriend (if any) and more such obnoxious questions, all at the very first conversation. Hold on to that (Thehro!)

Go slowly man. Take time to understand her, which by itself is a VERY complex process (you will understand this later). Then, if things work out and you have nothing better to ask; you have my permission to put forth this query of yours! Till then, wait!