Sunday, 23 June 2013
CHAPTER 2: WHAT THE FUDGE?!!!!!!!
The plan for ‘saving our asses
from the Board exams’, which we called as ‘Beat the Boards’, was in progress!
‘Hey let’s just cut this crap
for some time and have a walk till the washroom’, Prakhar beckoned!
It is always in a friend circle
that even if one has to go pissing, everyone else instantly generates an urge to piddle!
So, we headed to the toilet bantering
all the way through! Finally, we were there but the
place seemed quiet new to us, contradicting the fact that we have been pissing
there for the last 6 years!
Hey guys, when did the
management get so many cabins for us?, Palash asked surprisingly!
‘We have no idea about it man’,
Prakhar and I replied in unison, equally astounded to see the clean walls with
no remarks for the teachers on it!
Well, it is a disgrace to the
boys’ toilet if you don’t find hybrid abuses incorrectly written for several
teachers, love confessions and remarkable drawings of human body parts, some
unmentionable ones!
‘Oh wait! On which floor are
we?’,I asked worriedly!
‘I guess, it’s the 2nd
floor’, Prakhar replied!
After an awkward silence, I
shouted,’ WHAT THE FUDGE! WE ARE IN A GIRL’S TOILET!!!!! GET THE ASS OUT OF
HERE!!!’, and we ran towards the exit!
As soon as we came out of the
toilet, a maid rushed towards us with a ‘what-the-f@%k’ expression and asked
with suspicion, ‘What you guys were doing in there?!!!’
‘N… No.. Nothing at all. We
forgot’! I instantly replied back being a hell lot nervous thinking about the
consequences!
‘WHAT!!! You guys forgot your
gender!!!!!’, she fired right away!
‘Aunty, we are sorry for the
trouble but we just forgot that we were on the 2nd floor and went
inside the girls’ toilet’, Prakhar told her!
‘Plus, there was no girl inside
the toilet’, I added, thinking this might save us from the ruthless
consequences!
‘Let’s go to the principal’,
she said and asked us to form a line and start moving towards the
‘room-of-death’!
We started moving slower than a
snail or perhaps Internet Explorer! We were petrified, terrified and every –ied
that would describe fear!
There are times in life when
you really don’t understand what to do next! And, it was one such moment, even
worse but I gave a last try to save us from the upcoming problems.
‘Aunty, do you know who we are’,
I asked her!
‘No’, she replied!
As soon as she replied, I
murmured,‘Guys, run’, and we ran like Osain Bolt.
Trust me, have it been the
Olympics, surely we would have achieved a Bronze medal at the least!
All of this shit happened
because of the architect of the school. A boys’ toilet which was on the right on
the 1st floor was on the left on the 2nd floor and vice-versa for
the Girls’ toilet! And since we were so busy pulling each other’s leg that we
didn’t notice we were on the 2nd floor and got in the wrong toilet!
‘Gosh, Ain’t pissing anymore in
this school’, Prakhar said breathing heavily!
‘Same here’!
‘It was a lucky escape man,
plus, we were fortunate that there wasn’t any girl inside otherwise we would
have been dead by now’, I said thoughtfully!
‘Han yaar’!
‘But, what if she makes a
search in every class’, Palash asked anxiously!
‘Don’t worry about it dude!
It’s the last lecture going on, so even if they make a search then it is
practically impossible for them to seek in every class! Plus, we would be
staying in the canteen until the dispersal bell rings! Moreover, the upcoming 2
days are off for us so the possibilities for any unfortunate thing to happen
reduces to almost zero! And, most importantly, the issue isn’t that big. We
were undoubtedly very lucky that there wasn’t any girl inside plus the maid
doesn’t know our names! And possibly, she might also forget our faces in the
days to come-by, so relax!’, I said with confidence and felt like Sherlock
Holmes for a few secs! Really!
‘You are one goddamn genius
dude’, Prakhar said and patted on my back!
After that we all laughed at
the entire happening over and over again discussing every possibility and passing
silly jokes in between until the break-bell rang!
Sitting in the bus we just
prayed for the things to turn right at the time to come as we, or I should say,
I can’t hold the waste-water for so long! :P
Thursday, 9 May 2013
CHAPTER 1: BEAT THE BOARDS
There are always certain things
which are common between you and your friends and my case is not an exception to it
of course :P
Palash, Prakhar and me (Paresh)
were friends since we found out the common factor of ‘procrastination’ in us. Moreover,
we screwed up results together, bunked classes together and the most usual,
always went united to washroom :D (NOTE: We weren’t gay of course).
It was the maths lecture going on
and we 3 were yawing in the best way possible! :P
Sometimes I really wondered why
did we choose maths, especially me; when I really know nothing about it. Well, it is a part and parcel of life to make mistakes. (Yes! Taking Maths is a
mistake if you don’t feel like solving it :P )
Anyway, the Board exams were
coming in and the tension was building up! So, we made a plan to pass the
boards :P (With 1 month in hand, a below average student can’t aim above just passing!
Accept it! Reality me jeena seekho :D )
‘We are going to screw it man’,
Palash said in a cheeky way!
‘Of course dude, we will screw it
big time’, I replied! :D
Mission ‘Beat the Boards’ was
initialized and we three were on it!
(Will the mission be accomplished?
:P Find out in the upcoming posts )
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Screwed-up
Meghna was my dream girl when I
was in 5th. Average height, charming looks and a pretty face were
sufficient for my heart to get driven by her. Well, this might sound funny but
I used to wait at the cycle stand each day to have a glance of her! Of course a
cycle stand because we weren’t in a school
of Karan Johar
Anyway, she left the city 2 years
after 5th; unaware about my ‘dewanapan’ :P
I had no clue where she went but
ever after that time I just wished to somehow get in contact with her and
luckily the almighty took a notice over my demand! A mutual friend of ours got
us in contact. Surprisingly, she still remembered that old Abhi i.e. me :P
Frankly, I went crazy getting
back in contact again after 4 years of time! Felt like something good was
happening in my life. But, as it is said that, ‘nothing remains the same’, so,
obviously, my happiness wouldn’t have contradicted the quote! Precisely, I
screwed up big time!
Now, before I tell you how I did
that ironically awesome mistake, note it down, ‘Never ever reveal your feelings
to a girl too early. First, be her friend, then her good friend, then her
bestie and probably when you think that you finally understand her which I’m
sure will be a wrong assumption, tell your feelings’. It won’t guarantee a
success but at least your ass will be safe to be kicked until next time :D :P
Heading to my screwed up story… I
told her the crush thing childhood wali like a retard expecting some positive
result. But, as unexpected, things turned out to be like the filet-o-fish of
McDonalds i.e. sucking (No offense for filet-o-fish lovers :P) and
consequently, it ended up the contact.
I hope, you won’t let your
craziness shit over your desires :P
In the end, a word of wisdom,
always keep patience and you will do great :)
You may also like: BUTTER CHICKEN CALLED ME...
A DISTINCT LOVE STORY- PART 1
THE MYSTERIOUS ROBBER
You may also like: BUTTER CHICKEN CALLED ME...
A DISTINCT LOVE STORY- PART 1
THE MYSTERIOUS ROBBER
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
FAMILIAR STRANGERS
The place was sucking me to the
core that day. Although, it doesn’t mean that the same didn’t happen before but
you know…the ‘break-up’ effect was invincible.
My angel was sitting in the 3rd
bench and me at the last, as usual. For the whole 7 and ½ hours of torture, she
didn’t turn even once to notice what I was doing! It was really infuriating as
well as depressing, as, this thing never happened in the past 3 years! L
The next few days went the same.
Finally, Dhruv aka ‘Chole’ noticed the strange happenings and came to enquire
about it.
I said,’ We had a break-up 5 days
ago’.
He was astounded which was
obvious.
But Den, how did it happen? , he
asked.
‘We met at CCD where she asked me
to be just friends from then onward. I tried getting a genuine sensible reason
in vain. Apologized for some uncountable times, though I wasn’t wrong, but
everything was over-looked and unheard’. L
What!!! But…how can she do this
to you??? , asked ‘Chole’ with this ‘O.o’ kind of expression.
‘She doesn’t love me anymore. The
charm has gone according to her and possibly we can just be mates now’, I replied
sadly L
So, what now? Are you satisfied being
just ‘Friends’?
‘NO. But, if she is happy, I’m
happy. But, also I know, we neither can be friends nor enemies because there
was love somewhere someday involved’, I contemplatively replied.
So, what you both will be? , he
asked restlessly.
‘We will be Familiar Strangers’ L
Monday, 26 December 2011
Butter Chicken called me. . .
“The butter chicken is utterly delicious dude. Thanks for the treat,” I said to Parikshit, my mate, dwelling at another chicken piece.
I had skipped my college bus that day and travelled with Parikshit in his rickety, yet spacious bus. I even bluffed my parents saying that, ‘I would be coming home late, as I’ve travelled with my mate till his accommodation because the college bus got punctured.’
If I would have confronted the ‘treat’ thing, instantly my roasted form would have got prepared on the phone itself, as, my parents are strictly against eating out, except on special occasion.
Until we could finish up the stuff, my dad called me thrice. And every time I responded that, ‘I’ll be back in 20 mins.’ We then, quickly paid the bill & went back to his place. From there I left after 10mins, as, it was really getting late. Secondly, my dad had started to sound more serious on phone.
On the bus stop, my dad was standing with, you-are-gone expression.
I sat behind him on the vehicle. He, as already expected, interrogated regarding the current happenings. I continued with my former-set lies. But his reply was a sucker punch which intimidated me completely. I was thoroughly astounded.
He said, ‘We have probed out all the details. Your college bus was never punctured. All your other bus mates have already reached 2 hrs before.’
I then kept silent. The death seemed nearer. The delicious butter chicken seemed mocking upon me, jeering, ‘Aur khale saale’. Pictures of my mom, holding an active bomb to throw upon me, beckoned!
I reached back home and the rebuke-giving-tape, born-fixed within mom automatically played.
I stealthily left the place with an, I’m-sorry expression.
After changing, I came back in the drawing-cum-judgment hall, where sat the two parents-cum-judges & me- the culprit.
‘You have always disgraced us, Anuvin…,’started my dad.
What!!! What have I done now? Just skipped some hours of reaching back home from college & ate a tasty butter chicken, that’s it! Obviously, the hen wasn't our neighbor’s pet! How then I disgraced you? I asked willingly within.
‘He has done something cheesy today. I can bet. Else, why would he go faking a story?’ added my mom.
C’mon now! Carry out a polygraph test right here right now. Moreover, it was the butter chicken who called me. And, who the hell non-vegetarian would deny its call? I responded within.
‘Always since childhood he has remained back from his mates’, said my dad.
Hello dad! Wake up please. I agree my mate ate a piece extra of the delicious chicken but I promise, next time I will dominate him. But your history-concerned statement is entirely wrong. I’ve the legal proofs available, I said assertively to myself, just because, if you are a culprit, then, you are entitled to listen to fake allegations put on you by your parents; being from an Indian family.
I then, finally, realized that my parents have unearthed the grave-in matters of the past; all untrue and ridiculous! So I kept my focus upon the newspaper, containing Manmohan ji’s ‘I-wanna-do-potty-immediately’, expression. Thereafter I left for my room.
There, I again sat contemplating of my doings of that day. I didn’t regret the damn delicious butter chicken, but, my lie. Anyway, ‘the die was cast’. So, Consequently, I decided to take a short nap to reactivate my brain to carry-out my studies. As, this is the ultimate, universally famous master-key to unlock the door of anguish built within one’s parent’s mind.
Anyway, the day was digested & perhaps the butter chicken too. I craved sleep, so slept without much adieu.
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Time is Money
There were 2 tea vendors, right across the road, just opposite to me. Their stands were marked 1 & 2, respectively. Every basic thing needed to run a 'small income-making' tea shop was matching. Just the 1 thing that made the difference were the presence of customers at the two spots.
The stall holder possessing stall marked 1 had more customers than his opponent. He was a South Indian by looks. And, as everyone know, they are born intelligent or I think so. But, this time, it was something above the 'God- gifted-intelligence'.
I then started dwelling, contemplating what so unique that South Indian guy was doing, as he possessed more customers; In spite of the fact both vendors had everything same on their stalls. Clearly, there was a difference in the method of selling.
Finally, the curiosity within, brought me to the stall. I asked for a 'cut-chai' and stealthily watched his moves. And, 10 secs after the order, the so-called 'cut-chai' was in my hand, 'cutting my nerves out of bafflement'!
Wow! So quick. Amazing! The words echoed again and again within me. Anyway, apart from the awesome tea, I also received something of my genuine concern.
The south Indian guy had 2 containers. He filled one with a hot mixture of tea leaves, sugar, water and a bit of ginger. And, another one with warm milk. So, just he needed to pour-in the requisite mixtures to prepare a tea, once an order was placed.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Me and Mr. Mind
Night at two, a sound came through.
It was my 'Mind' for the first time,
wanted to confess,
the reasons, 'why i was so depressed'.
My 'Heart' contradicted. But i consoled it.
As because of it, i suffered misery
and was pissed !
I listened carefully for the first time,
a heart-changing rhymn;
said,'i was trapped in an unpleasant solitary,
tamed and run by the emotional heart'.
It kept saying and i heard keenly.
Words pierced my soul cleanly..
I was changing slowly but effectively.
"Fella, you 've been lying on the beds of piffle.
You need yourself to refill",said my mind.
Within some minutes being so kind,
it refrained, refuted and remedied my soul.
And then said i,
'Aah! thanks Mr. Mind, good that you rebuked my heart.
Your invisible, invinsible and invigorate words
've infusd something new in this struggler.'
My heart was wicked,
it maimed me completely, i agree.
And now, i am exultant and gratefull
for how you cautioned me, so greatly.
The moment seemed like a fable or a night-dream,
which turned an 'introvert' to an 'extrovert' like me !!!
