"This post is a work of fiction. It has no resemblance with the outside world. In fact, not even a bit with the writer's life as well. Nah! Not a chance." You won't think anything like this throughout the post and even after that as well. And sadly, I can't control your thoughts. Democracy you see. So, double the enjoyment with your imaginations. Tathastu!

 

Here is an HONEST (almost) Indian conversation between a guy and his crush in a random office. Not IT at all. At all. :p

 *Here she comes. The guy almost chasing her with his eyes through the glass wall until she steps inside.*

Girl: Hi! Fir mil gaya. *smiles*

Guy: Hungry? Han bol de. Please.

Girl: Yeah. Let's go. Bhookh to lagi he yaar. Subah he, hopefully zyada chatega nhi. Chal deti hun. *smiles*

Guy: Cool. Let’s leave. Laga hi tha ye naya deo kaam karega. D-Mart teri jai hoi. *smiles*

 *While having the snacks. Sitting somewhere*

Guy: So, lot of work to do? Yahi question pooch pooch ke thak gaya hun yaar.

Girl: Han yaar. Bohot zyada. Pata he..bla bla bla....bla bla bla...!

Guy: Bhai control kar. Yawn mat kariyo. Bakwaas kar rahi he but sunna to padega. Control. *yawns* *Grins* Kal raat soya nhi na. Isliye aa rahi he. *hi-hi* Tu bolte reh.

Girl: Nhi yaar. Bus itna hi tha. Tu suna? Kisse batiya raha tha raat me?! Aaj flirt wagera nhi kar raha mujh se. Pandit ban gaya kya raato raat?! Roz to bohot Josh me rehta he. Thoda bhao deti hun tujhe pagal. Dikhati nhi hun bus. Tension na le. Bol bindaas.

Guy: Tu to reply karti nhi he properly. Movies dekhna padta he. Movie dekh raha tha yaar. Late soya is karan se. Waise tujhe yaad kiya tha mene. Even dropped a text. Called as well. But as usual, tune number hi ignore mar diya hoga.

Girl: Oh! When? Let me check. *she checks* Arey sorry yaar. Just abhi dekha. Waise ghanta phone nhi uthati dekh bhi leti to. Aur raat me mein kisi ka reply nhi karti bf ka chhod ke,  jiske bare me tujhe nhi bataya he.

Guy: Koi nhi. It's ok. Ab to aadat pad gyi he. Tu suna? Kya huya tere ex bf ka?

Girl: Bataya tha kya tujhe? Wo na...bla bla bla. Called at night...bla bla bla. Ignored....bla bla bla.

Guy: Oh! To fir scene kya he tera? Kis chu ke saath thi tu bhi na. Waise bando ko har dusra banda chu hi lagta he. Alfa male to khud ko hi mante he sab.

Girl: Kuch nhi. Ab to relationship wagera nhi kar payungi. Break up has changed me so much. Ab no more relationships. And dating me karti nhi hun. To zyada sapne mat saja. Waise thoda chance he tere liye. Chotu sa. So, try to be good to me.

Guy: Haaayee! Dil hi toot gaya! Lo, chaakoo le lo. Ghusa do. Khel khatam kar do yahi par. But ese bol ke mat mara karo.

Girl: Hahaha! Hasne ke alawa kar bhi kya sakti hun. Ladki hun. Attitude maintain karna padta he. Tu bf hota to awww bolke gaal kheech deti aur side look wali smile. But tere liye hasi hi kaafi he. Tu kisko dekh raha he?

Guy: Kisi ko bhi nhi! Tujhe. Kasam se. Man to roz karta he bol dun ki bohot pasand he tu. Gf banja. Rock kar denge. But Rockstar ki tarah, ye dialogue bhi purana he. Aur sunne ke baad tu muskurahat leke dil me, ignore karna chalu kar degi mujhe. Kyunki confess karne wale ki feelings to hoti hi nhi he. Use to bura lagta hi nhi he kuch bhi karo uske saath. Aur in case, tera bf nikal gaya kahin se to fir to khel khatam. Isliye bolne se darta hun. But like to tujhe bohot karta hun.

Girl: Chal chupa le. Mat bata mujhe. Hint to dete rehta he. Me bhi samajhti  hu.

Guy: Arey! Tujh se kya chupana. Tu to apni he. Mat ungli kar. Bata dunga to fir tera behavior change ho jayega. Meri kahani ke Index page pe hi the end ho jayega. Mat press kar. Kha pi ke nikal le.

Girl: Chal anyways, chalte he ab. Kaam karna he kaafi.

Guy: Han. Bohot ho gaya sach ka samna.

*Both leave*

People say it is tough to connect with people at your workplace to the level of friendship as you had in your college. An intense friendship that would stay for years to come and wouldn't die even when you switch jobs. It is hard they say and is true to a great degree.

Reason being, once you start to earn, priorities kick in. You have loans to clear, send home some share of your income, make your neighbors jealous and then there are your personal expenditures and plans to deal with, too. So all this needs proper plan and money. And we all know about our crave for getting richer with every passing day. And for the same, we need to consistently work hard.

All this is possible when you focus on the right thing which definitely doesn't leave enough time for making deeper bonds with your colleagues. So, I hope you get the idea here why people say what they say!

But what if, you connect with a few of them in that span of time. Irrespective of everything that restricts you from being friends, a bond does build up. And most importantly, you start to feel it. And this feeling increases manifolds when you get to hear that few of your friends would be drifting apart. That they will be joining another company. In short, they won’t be there with you.

At that moment you realize how much you are going to miss them. And how big of a void their leaving will create in your life. Because absence of somebody tells you a lot about them and their importance in your life. And vice-versa.

So, how to deal with such a situation?

The best way to come out of this bad sulking feeling of being left out is to avoid getting too emotional as much as possible. A fine thought has to be established at the back of the mind that people (read: friends) here, at your workplace, have different agendas.

Eventually, you all will be working at different cities with less hopes of a chai-biscuit hangout or anything of that sort. So, try not to take things to heart. It is all right if your favorite people won’t be there to create more memories in and out of the office. Also, this world is small enough for you to catch a bus and pay them a visit. Or, ask them to do the same. Thus, relax. Be happy.

I hear a lot of people complaining about their secrets being spread in their circle of friends and elsewhere. The secrets which those people have to call as false rumors for obvious reasons. The secrets which they didn't share with anyone except their best friends (read: BFF).

So, basically, they share it with nobody and the secret's out on its own, because private information has a life too. It likes to hangout with multiple people. Thus, 'rumors' are spread. Just like that. Logical reason, right?!

Let me tell you a story to explain my point better. 

There was a king who had a lot of wealth stored in some secretive place. The location of that place was only known to him. However, after his marriage, he shared the secret with his wife. Why? Because she is his better half.

Now, the king kept a weekly check on his hidden wealth. To make sure everything is intact. However, after a few months when he went to ascertain his riches, surprisingly, it was gone. He was astounded because nobody in the entire kingdom knew about its location except for him and the queen. And given that the queen wouldn't have revealed it to anybody, raised the question on the criminal's identity.

So, for investigation, he called upon Birbal. He was an intelligent man who was known for his witty solutions to complex issues. He asked for a couple of days to sort out the matter.

After a few days when he came to the darbar, he requested to talk to the king alone. The king agreed.

'I need to ask you certain questions which you might find to be out of the line. So shall I?' asked Birbal. The king agreed.

'Did you tell about the hidden treasure to anybody accept the queen?' asked Birbal.

The king thought for a second and said 'No' with conviction.

'So, do you think your wife must have done that?' asked Birbal.

The king was taken aback because he believed his beloved like anything. He wouldn't doubt her loyalty towards him. So, the king said 'No' to this answer as well without a line of doubt.

'So, now am going to tell you something which you might not like.' said Birbal and waited for the king's reaction.

The king was calm. Nothing to be cautious about, he said to Birbal.

'Your treasure cannot be found' said Birbal.

The king was shocked that even Birbal couldn't find the thief. He asked for a reason in distress to which Birbal said this:

'Your highness, I have made every attempt to find the odds, to trace the robber. I have even eliminated the obvious choices based on your answers to my questions. But, there seems to be no solution. I am sorry to say this but you should have kept the information about your treasure with yourself. It was safe then. You made a mistake to tell it to your wife. Now, I am not saying that she must have robbed you. Of course, not, but since the information was out, there was no control of it with you. You could no longer stop it from spreading by any means. Thus, the lesson here is to note that secret information should be kept to oneself. It should not be shared with anyone under any circumstances.'

The king understands his mistake and takes a life lesson from it.

Now, you too must have noted that extremely important point from the story; the basic mistake that we make in sharing our personal life with others is sharing it.

If that thing stops, I don't think there is any other way by which anybody has to worry about 'false rumors' anymore. Of course, if one has the issue of talking while sleeping, then medical help is needed. Else, the solution is free. Stop sharing information. Be it your BFF, BF or GF. Once it is leaked from your side, you have no control over it. So, keep things to yourself and stay happy.

But with that in mind, do not refrain from sharing this post. Thank you.

Recently, I visited a mall in Bhopal. It was evening and there was a rock show going on near the entrance. I was with a friend and we both stopped to check out the singer. He was literally good, and thus we spent some time at the place hearing him out.

Amidst the contrasting lighting, I figured out that the singer was someone I have known before. On carefully watching his face, keeping my patience and sanity intact, I figured out that he was a school junior.

We used to play football back in the days. And have even exchanged pleasantries one time recently. Honestly, I was awestruck with his voice. Trust me, I don’t praise unless I mean it completely.

In fact, his semester exams were going on that time. So, giving out such a performance in a crucial time when your exams are on the head is a big thing. I can’t really imagine myself doing that.

But, more or less, he was the man of the hour who was doing what he does best; sing.

Amidst all the glitter, glamour and singing, I was constantly in conversation with my friend who was relishing the aura, songs and what not? Everything.

Me: Yaar, banda to gajab ga raha he. Hena?

Friend: Han bhai. Talented he.

Me: Wahi to yaar. Aur mujhe hawa bhi nhi lagi aajtak. Rockstars logo se contact he mere.

Friend: Tere bagal me aaj Ambani khada he. Tujhe ye baad me realize hoga.

Me: Hao! Acha, iske papers chal rahe he. Manna padega. Tab bhi show kar raha he.

Friend: Bhai, paper waper hote rehte he. Wo sab nikal jayega. Sab pass ho jate he. Ye har koi nhi karta he. Yahi life he. Jo pasand he wo karo.

And this is the point that struck me.

Do what you like. Do as you like. Do even if nobody notices it. Just do it. (Nike, will you pay me for the ad?)

Because it makes you happy!

All right! It has been over a month since I last posted anything here. Never mind. Nobody visits it anyway! But, hey, guess what? Yeah, yeah! You have guessed it right! This ‘guess what’ thingy has gotten old!

Anyways, I desperately wanted to write a post on this title long ago. But considering my gifts of laziness and procrastination, I could not try my hands on it. But the time has FINALLY come when I will be doing it. Hihahahaha! *evil grin*

So, here is an ‘honest’ conversation between a random guy (RG) and his neighbour (N):

RG: It is a great weather . Let's go outside.

N: Arey beta! Kaise ho? Zinda bhi ho, jaanke acha laga. Aaj tumhari lunga. Hihahaha!

RG: Namaste uncle! Me acha tha jab tak aapne awaaz nhi di thi. Acha hun uncle. Aap bataiye? Aaj mausam acha he na?

N: Acha try kara topic control karne ka. But rishte me hum tumhare neighbour lagte he. Me acha hun. Chalo ab maze liye jayen tumahre. Aur kya kar rahe ho aajkal?

RG: Bohot sahi! Yahi question bacha tha poochne ko! Engineering kar raha hun uncle. Khatam hone wali he.

N: Oh! Mujhe laga kuch meaningful kar rahe hoge.hihihi. Oh! Acha he, acha he! Placement huya? Lagta to nhi he.

RG: Dukhti rag pakad li he. Ungli do to haath pakadne wale log he ye! Ji uncle. Bus chal raha he. Hehe!

N: Sach sach bol do. Hume bhi maze lene do. Acha he beta, try karte raho. Aur future me kya socha he karne ka? Sirf naukri? Higher studies nhi karoge? Ye daala jaal. Ab fasega murga!

RG: Kis muhrat me bahar aane ka socha tha aaj! Ye to kapde utar rahe he. Abhi filhal sirf job ka socha he uncle. Higher studies ka baad me dekhunga. Hihi! Nikal le beta jaldi. Koi to awaaz de do andar se. Koi to bula lo.

N: Sahi he, sahi he. Tumse kuch na ho payega. Samajh gye he. Waise job wagera me pareshani aaye to batana. Mere ek friend he. Pass ke gaun me factory daali he. Production ka kaam rahega. 10000 mil jayenge. Shuruaat ke liye theek he. Uske upar tumhari aukaad nhi he. Hehe.

RG: Yahi mauka he nikalne ka. Ji uncle! Zaroor. Thank you. Acha me chalta hun. Coaching jana he. Bhag lo.

N: Coaching! Ghar me ghuse rehne ki coaching. Hehe.  Ok beta. Ese milte rehna. Hume dete rehna. 

We all know what beauty brings with it; access to restricted places, endless favors, no ticket for breaking the traffic rules mostly and what not? And the same goes with being rich too. Isn’t it? I am none, though.

If I start to mention the advantages, which I won’t because am lazy, then that will take a couple of more posts to sum all of it!

But, to shorten the longer version with a bad metaphor, it can be said that beauty and money are like the ultimate weapon to escape or to take advantage of any situations. Well, Almost. Work both ways.

I will leave the advantage part because that is common for all of us to notice and experience in life. But, what if I tell you the disadvantages of being beautiful or rich or both? Trust me, ain’t drunk.

Here are a few disadvantages of it. Add some of your own in the comment section, for when I skip something. Age has to be blamed for my mistake.

1.       They are not considered as talented

This is the most common thing beautiful/handsome and/or rich people get to listen on their back when they do something big. Be it, coming first in the papers or building something great. Or whatever. You have a better imagination. Use it.

Anything they do will be reasoned with their hard work and commitment for it, DON’T think like this. Because it has mostly been their money or looks that has done the trick, people say.

‘Ameer he bhaiya, asaani se jugaad betha li hogi’

And adding to the grief, this notion has never shifted a meter from its ground. It is affixed like the shitty daily soaps of Indian TV channels. Gustakhi maaf ho Ekta Kapoor ji.

2.       They befriend people with hidden motives

This is also very common. When you are beautiful/handsome, you get enough attention all ways round that it burns people like me to the ground. Easily. Same goes for wealthy individuals too.

Consequently, you get a mixed batch of people associated in your life who would lick your feet and brag about you throughout the day and continuously for weeks and weeks. 

Hum mar gye he kya bhaiya? Tanik idhar bhi chaaploosi karlo.

And all this for something. May be, monetary support or other kind of support you well know.

However, there will be a handful of people (excluding your family) who will love you for who you are and will be a part of your life. But, in the herd, it remains a tough task to differentiate the good sheep or the bad sheep.

You will always be in doubt whether people like you for who you are as a person or for your looks or money. Period.

That is all I could think of. Would love to have your opinion, suggestion and points about this post. Thank you for reading.

P.S.: I love to watch Shaun The Sheep. Do you?!